


Bruises

by HufflepuffMoonshoes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ben Braeden is Dean Winchester's Son, F/M, Firefighter Castiel, M/M, Police Officer Dean, daddy!dean, widower!dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-01-12 05:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HufflepuffMoonshoes/pseuds/HufflepuffMoonshoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been ten years. Ten long, hard years since he had last set foot in the little town of Lawrence, KS. Ten years since the love of his life had broken up with him because he had discovered he was moving out of state with his family. And now, Dean Winchester was back home, where he belonged... only to find that everything had changed in his absence. </p><p>Beginning and ending with Castiel Novak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Ain't Goodbye - Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So! First published Supernatural fanfic, first time setting anything up under the exalted name of HufflepuffMoonshoes. I actually got the idea for 'Bruises' - named after the song by Train - while messing around on Omegle. It started simply with the texts... and the idea grew. I couldn't leave it there. 
> 
> Rated for language and possibly for later chapters.
> 
> So, please, read and review, let me know how I'm doing and how I can improve.

 

Dean

_Cas_

 

**Friday, October 17, 2003**

7:42am

I won't be at school the next few days.

 

_10:41am  
_

_You make me sad._

 

10:48am

You took long enough. I thought you were an early riser.

  
  
10:50am 

But anyway. There's stuff I gotta take care of.

 

_11:24am_

_Is everything okay?_

 

11:25am

Not really. But don't worry about it, I've got everything under control.

 

_11:26am_

_Can I do anything to help?_

 

11:26am

No.

 

_11:27am_

_At all?_

 

11:29am

No, Cas. Just leave it, please.

 

_11:28am_

_Okay._

 

1:32pm

Thank you.

 

_1:45pm_

_Took you long enough._

 

1:51pm

You're mouthy today.

 

_1:52pm_

_I'm mouthy every day._

 

 

_7:17pm_

_You okay?_

 

7:23pm

Good as ever.

 

_7:24pm_

_You didn't text back earlier. I was worried I offended you._

 

7:26pm

Oh. No, you're fine.

 

_7:26pm_

_I've been worried all day._

 

7:27pm

Why didn't you just ask me earlier? 

 

_7:28pm_

_Because I was biting my nails, chewing on my hair, and staring at my phone._

 

7:30pm

In that order?

 

_7:31pm_

_All at the same time._

 

7:40pm

I didn't know you were freaking out over little old me.

 

_7:41pm_

_Hmph._

 

7:42pm

Aww. You do care.

 

_7:45pm_

_I'm going to go sulk now._

 

7:50pm

That won't do. Your window unlocked?

 

_8:00pm_

_Always._

 

  
_  
_**Tuesday, November 4, 2003**

12:00am

Happy anniversary, angel. Text me when you wake up.

 

_6:17am_

_I don't even want to know why you were awake at midnight on our anniversary and not over here with me._

_But happy anniversary. And I better see you behind the gym before homeroom._

 

6:30am

Always. 

 

**Thursday, November 13, 2003**

_3:20pm_

_What's going on with you lately?_

 

3:56pm

We need to talk. 

 

_4:00pm_

_Something wrong?_  

 

4:15pm

I might be moving. 

 

_4:21pm_

_What? What the fuck are you talking about?_  

 

4:25pm

Dad got offered this huge job up in South Dakota.

 

_4:29pm_

_So you're moving? Can't you stay with someone down here? Jesus, Dean, it's our senior year._

 

4:33pm

You know I can't do that to them. Or to you, so don't bother offering.

 

_4:34pm_

_Why would you say something like that?_

 

4:35pm

Because , for one thing, your brother doesn't like me. 

And I know your parents do, but me moving in is a bit much.

 

_4:37pm_

_Honestly, Michael can kiss my ass. He has no right to decide this._

_And I can convince my parents._

4:40pm

I can't just leave my family. 

 

_4:42pm_

_Sorry. Apparently I'm the only one who's selfish here._

4:43pm

I'm not trying to call you selfish. I don't want to go, either.

 

_4:45pm_

_I am thinking just about myself, because I can't even imagine a day without you. And now? My entire life without you? No, I just can't._

4:46pm

I'm so sorry. I wish there was some way I could fix this. But we need the money that this job's offering him.

 

_4:47pm_

_No, it's okay. I understand. You have to do what's best for you and for the rest of your family._

 

4:50pm

But I want to stay here. With you.

Fuck, Cas. I love you.

 

_5:02pm_

_You do?_

 

5:03pm

YES!

I know this is the worst possible time to say it, but I love you so much.

 

_5:06pm_

_Stop with this, please. Don't make it any worse. You should've told me this before._

 

5:07pm

Either I say it now, or it never gets said. And I can't leave knowing I never told you.

 

_5:07pm_

_It would've been so much better if I didn't know._

_  
_5:30pm

Do you really mean that?

 

_5:32pm_

_I do. Because you became a part of me. I love you more than anything, but you're leaving._

_You should hate me or something, so I 'd feel better to let you go._

 

5:33pm

Why the fuck would I hate you?

You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.

 

_5:37pm_

_But since now I am like a wreck._

_I am nothing without you._

_Please, don't leave. Don't leave me behind._

 

5:38pm

If Dad takes that job, I have no choice.

The best I can offer is spending the rest of my time here with you.

 

_5:38pm_

_You can't do that._

_I can't let you do that._

_Sorry._

 

5:38pm

Cas... 

 

_5:38pm_

_We're over, De._  

 

5:40pm

No, Cas, please. 

Please don't do this. 

We can make it work. 

 

_5:41pm_

_No, we can't, and you know it._

_I love you, and I always will._

 

5:41pm

We can. I swear we can.

You're my life.

 

_5:42pm_

_STOP IT I ASKED YOU TO STOP WITH THIS._  

_We can't be together, can't you see that?_

_I need to forget you so I can survive the rest of my life._

_That's all._

 

5:43pm

Cas, please. Don't do this to us.

What if Dad doesn't take that job?

What if I get a job, and we can all stay?

 

_5:44pm_

_From what you said about him he will, stop giving me hope where there ain't one._

 

5:44pm

I can't lose you too.

 

_5:46pm_

_We've been friends for years, I know you can. I know you, or better to say I hope I do, so I do know that you can find someone else as well._

 

5:47pm

I don’t WANT anyone else!

It's been you, ONLY you, for 4 years! I'm done! I've settled!

You're the one, Cas.

 

_6:14pm_

_Sorry, De. I am so, so sorry._

 

  
_  
_**Tuesday, November 25, 2003**

9:07am

We're leaving in an hour. Come see me?

 

9:34am

Cas, please, I need to see you. 

 

9:57am

Don't leave us like this, angel. 

 

10:18am

I love you, Cas. And I always will. 

 

4:00pm

We just rolled into Sioux Falls. Still alive. In case you were wondering. 

 

**Thursday, December 25, 2003**

**  
**12:00am

Merry Christmas, angel. Wish I was there to spend it with you. 

 

_12:01am_

_Please enter a valid 10 digit number._

 

12:01am

So I guess that's that, then.

Goodbye, Cas.

 

_12:02am_

_Please enter a valid 10 digit number._

 


	2. It Feels Good at First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These bruises make for better conversation  
> Loses the vibe that separates  
> It's good to let you in again  
> You're not alone in how you've been  
> Everybody loses, we all got bruises  
> We all got bruises

**Sunday, September 29, 2013**

 

It’d been ten years. Ten long, hard years since he had last set foot in the little town of Lawrence, KA. Ten years since the love of his life had broken up with him because he had discovered he was moving out of state with his family. And now, Dean Winchester was back home, where he belonged.

The old Impala cruised down Main Street, one of Dean’s arms halfway hanging out the window and dark shades protecting his eyes from the bright summer sun. A few people paused in their errands to stare after him, but he kept his eyes focused on the road in front of him. There would be time for reunions later. Right now, Dean just wanted a good cup of a coffee and a quiet booth in his favorite old hangout.

  
He finally pulled up at a heart-achingly familiar diner, parking in front of it and killing the engine. It had a different name than he remembered, but the diner itself hadn’t changed much from the outside. That was a relief, at least… though if it was changed on the inside, Dean wasn’t sure what he’d do with himself. Hell, he wasn’t sure what he was doing now. Coming here? After everything that had happened, all the memories centered in this very diner… Well. If Dean avoided every single place that housed memories of his teenage years, that would defeat the purpose of coming back.

  
“Dad?”

  
Dean glanced over his shoulder into the backseat, at the droopy-eyed boy that had obviously just woken up. “Hey, buddy,” he said gently, leaning an arm on the back of his seat to turn around. “You finally awake?” His son nodded, rubbing at his dark eyes… so much like his mother’s, Dean thought with a pang of hurt. He pushed back the thought - he really didn’t need that right now. He had to be strong for the two precious children in his backseat, even if it killed him. “Well, that’s good, because we’re here. Help me wake Jen, and we’ll grab something to eat, all right?” The boy nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt, moving across the back seat to gently nudge the still-sleeping little girl.  

  
Dean took a deep breath, finally climbing from the car. Before he even looked at the diner, saw the faces through the big glass window staring at him, he opened the back door and began to unfasten the buckles of the flowery green car seat. His young daughter resisted her brother’s attempts at waking her, only whining pathetically, so Dean shrugged helplessly at him and scooped her into his arms. Jennica settled against his chest, tucking her face against his neck and curling one small hand into his dark t-shirt. “Come on, let’s grab some lunch.”

  
After adjusting his arms so he could support his daughter with only one, Dean finally turned back to the diner and headed inside, holding open the door for his son. The door fell shut behind them with a quiet, oh-so-familiar bell tinkle, and Dean reached up to take off his sunglasses. The former ‘Mosley Place’ - now ‘Benny’s Bistro’ - was thankfully still just as he remembered it, though the waitresses milling around were far too young to have worked there in the old days. That was good… Dean didn’t want to draw too much atten-

  
“Well, if’n it ain’t the wayward Winchester.”

  
He froze, caught like a deer in headlights. The big, burly Cajun that had just come out of the kitchen looked painfully familiar, not to mention that lazy drawl that had followed him throughout high school.

  
“B-Benny?”

  
Dammit, he hadn’t meant to stutter. What happened to that calm, cool, collected badass that was decked out in biker boots and grease-stained jeans? Dean wasn’t the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed kid he used to be… not anymore. But shit, if Benny wasn’t a sight for sore eyes. It was nothing to meet him halfway, to be pulled into a tight, one-armed hug with an almost painful clap on his back. He was grinning like an idiot when Benny pulled away enough to look him up and down.

  
“Last time I saw you, we was helpin’ your daddy load the trailer,” Benny was saying, hands still clasped tight around Dean’s arms. “God, it’s been what… ten years now?”

  
“Ten years come November, yeah,” he admitted quietly. “I… God, Benny, just look at you! What happened to that butter faced kid I used to know?”

His son was tugging on his shirt insistently, and, giving Benny a sheepish smile, Dean turned away and knelt carefully, not wanting to jostle the girl still sleeping peacefully. “What is it, Ben?” he asked, concern coloring his voice. He could hear his old friend’s sharp intake of breath, but didn’t look up. When Ben leaned forward to whisper in his ear, Dean’s expression softened and he nodded. It took a minute to push himself back up to his feet, but he was used to it from years of having to carry a child and do things at the same time.

  
“I need a root beer, a couple of menus, and a strong cup of coffee,” he said, letting his eyes wander over the booths that lined the wall. Two were empty, and before he could say anything, Ben chose one and went over to it, crawling in. Dean hesitated, instantly recognizing the placement of that particular booth, but went anyway. It would be okay… he would be okay. It had been years. Cas probably didn’t even come here anymore.

  
Benny brought over a hot cup of coffee and a plastic cup, setting them on the table before sliding in next to Ben. The boy said nothing, barely even glanced at the strange man, because he had a root beer now. Dean watched as his best friend from high school threw an arm along the back of the seat, remembering when he had done the very same in this very booth. A small ache bloomed in his chest at the memory, and he tore his eyes away to shift his daughter off his chest and into his lap. He could do this, he swore silently. Being back in Lawrence was better for them than staying in Sioux Falls would be…

  
Right?

  
Benny was saying something, so Dean shoved away painful memories and tried to listen. “...really good timing. Your old house just lost its renters, so you can move back in there if’n you want.”

  
“What? Really? That’s… that’s awesome, man, but I don’t… I don’t know.” He would love to live in his childhood home again; that wasn’t the problem. He would be able to share stories of his childhood with his own kids, could set Jennica up in Sammy’s old room and Ben in his own. Hell, it was better than staying in a motel for a few days. “I’ll have to call Bobby and see if he can bring down the furniture from the old house, but it won’t be for a couple of days.” He shrugged, picking up his coffee and taking a careful sip. It nearly burnt his tongue, but the bitter taste was just what he needed.

  
“Well, until then, you can stay at mine. Andrea would love to have some young’uns running around. We have a couple of guest rooms, and it wouldn’t be any problem… until you get on your feet, see.”

  
Benny truly was the best friend a guy could hope to ever have.

  
“You’re the best, dude,” Dean said with a quiet laugh. “That sounds really good. And besides, it’s about time I got to see Andrea again. Didn’t I double-date with you two for junior prom?” In fact, he was sure of it. Andrea had informed Dean that she didn’t approve of his driving, and he’d retaliated by running a red light, much to everyone else’s delight. Or, to Benny’s delight, since Cas had swatted him for being an idiot.

  
Huh. That didn’t hurt nearly as bad as Dean had thought it would. Thinking about Cas. Though, that was a little understandable. It had been years, after all. And Dean had fallen in love with a gorgeous girl, had fathered two perfect children, had built up a life for himself in South Dakota that Castiel Novak had had nothing to do with. And even though he was back down in Kansas, he could keep living his life, could build another one for himself and his kids, and maybe everything would be okay.

  
Hopefully.

  
Please, God, let everything be okay. For Ben and Jennica, if nothing else.

  
\--

  
Unsurprisingly enough, it wasn’t because Lawrence was a small town that Benny knew about the old Winchester family home having lost its renters. He was the one renting it out. Talk about lucky. And to make it even better, Benny and his wife lived in the house right across the street, and Andrea said she could and would babysit anytime Dean needed it. They were all sitting on the front porch of Benny’s house, with Dean’s kids playing happily in the yard and the adults enjoying a nice cup of coffee and catching up. Finally, Andrea asked the question Dean had been both avoiding and hoping to get over with.  
  


“Is anyone coming down to join you?”

  
As expected, his heart tightened in his chest, much like his hand around the mug of hot coffee. While it hadn’t hurt to think of Cas, it still hurt oh so much to think about his wife. More recent, he knew, and much worse a parting than his breakup with his high school sweetheart. “No,” he said at last, quietly. “Just us. I mean, Bobby’s gonna bring the rest of our things, but… no one else.”

  
Benny gave him a sad look, and Dean knew, right then, that Benny knew. Knew it wasn’t as complicated as a separation, or as simple as a divorce, but… worse. Much, much worse. And there it was. The breath hitch, the stammer, the pang of hurt in his chest. He cleared his throat stubbornly, and stared down at his kids as Ben tried to teach his sister how to properly throw the ball Dean had thought to pack before they’d left home.  
  


Getting out of Sioux Falls had been the best option… and Lawrence was the only place to go.

  
Benny clapped a heavy hand on his shoulder, and Dean dragged his eyes away from his son and daughter. Benny and Andrea’s eyes were a little red, but his friend was giving him a big smile. “You’re a great dad, Dean,” he said, and squeezed his shoulder. "And if you need anything, for you or those kids of yours, you just tell us.”

  
Dean felt his lips quirk upward in a real smile, and for the first time in a while, he felt good. Everything would be fine, because he had his best friend, and his kids, and his hometown.

  
“Thanks, Benny. You’re the best.”

  
“Any time, brother.”

\---

**Tuesday, October 1, 2013**

 

Dean heard the old truck before he saw it. He’d been under the hood of his Impala with Ben, while Jennica wrestled with Benny on the grass. The two had been nearly inseparable since that first day, and Benny had gone almost instantly to an uncle in the little girl’s eyes. Andrea was in the kitchen fixing lunch for everyone, though she promised it wasn’t going to be much more than sandwiches. It was all very domestic, and Dean almost felt like nothing had changed in his time away. Almost.  
  


The old pick-up pulled up in front of Dean’s house, with a loaded down trailer hitched to the back. Dean expected that. What he didn’t expect was the big U-Haul that pulled up right behind the trailer. Bobby hadn’t said anything about anyone else coming down, and for a second, Dean thought it was Crowley. Not that he had anything against the man, but… Crowley just rubbed him the wrong way. He would never understand how Bobby got along with the guy. But when the door opened, it wasn’t the short, British businessman that climbed out, it was…  
  


“Sammy!”  
  


Dean’s brother grinned sheepishly, raising one hand in greeting. Benny, startled at the unexpected name, sat up straight on the lawn, Jennica hanging from his neck and giggling madly. But, for once, Dean wasn’t concerned about his kids. His little brother, his Sammy that had been off in California at college for the past few years, was here in Lawrence driving a U-Haul with Dean’s stuff.  
  


Dean abandoned Ben in front of the Impala and raced over to his brother, and the two shared a very tight, very long hug that wasn’t without a couple of backslaps. When they finally pulled apart, Dean wasn’t ashamed to admit that his eyes were a little wet. The last time he had seen Sam had been… well, not under the best of circumstances. Just the fact that Sam had left California for South Dakota, and then had driven from South Dakota to Kansas, just for Dean and his kids…  
  


“Okay, okay!” Sam said, laughing as Dean tried to drag him into another tight hug. “I get it, I get it, you missed me!” He shoved his brother playfully, and they exchanged big, goofy grins. No matter what, as long as Dean had Sam, he and his kids were going to be all right. “Now, where are my favorite kids in the whole world?”  
  


It took about 5 seconds for Jennica to abandon her new uncle and run to her actual uncle, who swept her up into his arms while she shrieked happily. Ben soon followed, wrapping his arms around Sam’s waist. The sight made Dean’s chest ache. This was his little family, that he would give up everything for. Hell, that was exactly what he’d felt like he was doing, ten years ago.  
  


Dangerous territory, Winchester, he reminded himself.  
  


“Oi! Don’t I get a hug for drivin’ all this way?” a gruff voice demanded, and a trucker hat smacked the back of Dean’s skull. It didn’t hurt, of course, but he recoiled anyway and grabbed his head.  
  


“Ow, ow! Okay, okay, Bobby, hello to you too!”  
  


\--  
  


Lunch was a cheerful affair. Bobby, who had met the Winchesters when they’d moved up to Sioux Falls, instantly clicked with Benny, and, not for the first time, Dean realized just how alike they really were. Oh, sure, he’d realized it years ago, upon first meeting the rough mechanic, but seeing the two side-by-side was surreal… they could be father-and-son, it was that uncanny.  
  


While the two men talked about their own respective businesses, Sam and Dean caught up. After all, they hadn’t seen each other in what felt like ages… Hell, Dean hadn’t even told his brother about his plan to move back to Lawrence. Bobby must have told him… or their parents.  
  


Probably Bobby.  
  


“So… what’s it like, being back?” Sam asked carefully, nursing a beer that Andrea had brought out for the guys. “I mean, Lawrence, man. Our old house and everything! How did you manage it?”  
  


Dean shrugged, tilting his head toward Benny. “Benny rents it out. The old renters had just left before I rolled into town, so… he let me have it. I’m just renting until I can get back on my feet. I’ve just got to go up to the police department after we’re settled and put in my resume… ask for a recommendation from my sergeant up in Sioux Falls.” He scratched at his jaw, glancing over at his brother. “I just… couldn’t stay there. You know? We had to get out.”  
  


Sam nodded, clapping Dean on the back comfortingly. “Yeah… I get it. Nobody blames you for getting out of there, Dean. Least of all me.”  
  


Dean glanced over at his brother, feeling his mouth quirk up in a fond smile. That was his Sammy… never questioning him even when everyone else seemed to be. Always by his side. He quickly squashed that smile, though, and nudged his brother.  
  


“Hey. No chick flick moments.”  
  


Sam just laughed and shrugged. “Whatever you say. I remember you used to live for the chick flick moments.”  
  


“Back in high school, maybe,” Dean retorted. “Not so much now, bud.”

  
They shared a quick laugh, and clinked their bottles together. And, for the first time in months, Dean felt like he was home.


	3. Drive By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has been perfectly content with his life for the past ten years... hasn't he? And if he has, then why is the news of Dean Winchester's return affecting him so much?

**Friday, October 11, 2013**

“Hey, Cas!”

Castiel groaned, hands tightening on his newspaper. There was no privacy to be found in a firehouse, he supposed, but sometimes he liked to pretend. Until someone needed him, at least. So Castiel folded his paper and put out his half-smoked cigarette before anyone could see it. “Out here,” he said, leaning back in his chair.

Garth’s head poked out around the door, and for once, his broad grin was nowhere in sight. In fact, he looked a little… worried? That put Castiel on edge; Garth was one of the most laid-back guys he knew, and if something had him like this, it wasn’t anything good. “Hey, uh… have you heard the news?”

“Apparently not. Is it just general gossip or will I actually be interested?”

“I think you’ll definitely be interested.”

Castiel sighed. This news, whatever it was, was bothering Garth enough that he had searched him out, interrupting a quiet smoke break that everyone knew he took but nobody mentioned. Castiel tried his best to stay away from town gossip, Barely any of it held any grain of truth, and it was usually just to hurt someone.

“Okay, Garth. Do your worst.”

And Garth did his worst. By God did he do his worst. Castiel grabbed his pack from his shirt pocket and lit one up, taking a long drag and ignoring the look of pity on Garth’s face. Fuck trying to quit, he deserved this one.

Dean Winchester, back in Lawrence?

Two _kids_?

Castiel needed a drink. No. Make that a _lot_ of drinks. Hell, he just needed a whole bottle of vodka. Never mind that he was trying to cut back on his drinking, too. Some things just called for giving up on giving up.

“Cas?”

“Please go and set something on fire. I need a fire. Or vodka. Possibly both.”

“Uh… okay.”

Garth shot back through the door, probably to go try and find that bottle of liquor that Castiel kept hidden for special occasions. How the rest of Engine 4 knew where that hiding place was, he would never know. But it wasn’t like it really mattered… now that Castiel thought about it, they had finished off that bottle last month, and he had yet to replace it.

“Garth!”

“Yeah?” came Garth’s voice from somewhere inside the firehouse. Thank God for acoustics, Castiel thought dryly.

“Don’t really set a fire! I don’t think Rufus would be too amused if the firehouse had to put itself out!”

“Okay, Chief! Roger! No fires!”

\--

For once, Castiel’s drive home was quiet. He wasn’t blasting Led Zeppelin from his speakers, he didn’t have the windows rolled down, and he certainly wasn’t stopping at the diner to socialize. There was too big of a chance that he would run into Dean now… Dean and the kids. His heart twisted painfully. Dammit, it had been ten years! Castiel had gotten over Dean Winchester, had moved on. What was all this about? Dean had obviously moved on, too… enough that he had had _kids_.

Fuck.

Castiel’s phone buzzed on the seat beside him, and he grabbed it without taking his eyes from the road. “Novak.”

“Thought I saw that truck of yours passin’ by.”

“Hello to you, too, Benny,” Castiel said with a sigh. He should have expected this… he had never not stopped at Benny’s after a long shift. But if… _he_ was back in town, there was no way Benny wouldn’t know. Hell, they were probably all at the diner right then.

“Got special plans tonight?” It was quiet on the other end of the line, so Castiel could safely assume that Benny had walked into his office… away from guests and the increasingly loud kitchen staff. Away from Dean.

“Cut the shit,” he snapped. “I know he’s back. I didn’t want some kind of reunion setup, I just had a 48 hour shift and I want to go home and sleep in my own bed.”

Benny himself was quiet for a moment. Castiel felt a little guilty for being so rude, but he was tired and definitely not in the mood for this. “He’s not here, Cas. You know I wouldn’t do that to ya.”

Ah, shit. The guilt grew. He’d just snapped at Benny… for nothing. “God, Benny, I’m sorry. I… it’s been a long day and I just found out that my high school sweetheart is back in town after dropping off the face of the earth our senior year.”

“... so you also know about the kids.”

“With _kids_! How am I supposed to react to that?”

Benny just sighed. It sounded like a rush of crackling static over the phone. “It’s been ten years, brother. Did you expect him to pine after you all this time? I thought you were over this.”

“I was! I _am_! I… damn it all, Benny. He left me!”

“You gave him no choice. If’n I recall correctly, you broke up with him and wouldn’t even show up to say goodbye.”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now. Good night, Benny.” Before the other man could say anything else, Castiel flipped his phone shut and tossed it back down on the seat. He really needed a drink now. Dammit.

\--

That night was one of the worst nights of his life. The photo album that he had put away nearly a decade ago was easily found and opened, filled to the brim with pictures and notes from high school. Professional pictures from school dances were mixed in with pictures that their friends and parents had snapped over the years, and a couple that Dean had taken himself when Cas was least expecting it. All of them dated, all in the same handwriting - Castiel’s on the professional ones, Dean’s on the rest.

The vodka wasn’t helping.

Why wasn’t it helping?

Why did he have to go and have _kids_?

It had always been Castiel’s dream, back then. Finding someone to settle down with, having a couple of beautiful, perfect kids, and raising them alongside the love of his life. For the longest time, he had thought that someone was Dean. Had doodled ‘Castiel Novak-Winchester’ on all of his notebooks, had come up with names for the little brats, had even started a savings account (that was still steadily gaining money every year).

And Dean had left and lived that dream, while Castiel was stuck in Nowhere, Kansas, with an increasingly severe drinking problem and an everyman job as chief firefighter. Dean probably had a cushy desk job, a beautiful doting wife, the apple pie life that Cas had always dreamed of.

And he hated it.

So what if Cas had been the one to end it? He couldn’t do long-distance… he had fought with himself for years over that decision. They were just in high school. Cas had only _thought_ he’d loved Dean.

And he only _thought_ he still loved Dean. It was probably the vodka talking. Scratch that - it was _definitely_ the vodka talking.

Numb fingers searched for his phone, and he shakily hit the speed dial. Only one person could handle him like this. It rang twice before his friend answered, and Cas didn’t waste any more valuable time.

“I’m drunk and Dean Winchester is back in town. Get over here.”

 


	4. Guess Who I Saw Today?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the next chapter of Bruises! Sorry it took so long, but I hope everyone likes it!

**Sunday, October 13, 2013**

 

Castiel caught his first glimpse of Dean not even two days later, while he was riding back to the station after a minor fire. His breath caught in his throat and he turned his head in time to see what exactly had gotten Dean to the city park in the first place - the kid. A boy, surely no older than seven, had obviously just retrieved a wayward baseball and was getting ready to throw it back to his father. For who else could the boy be but one of Dean’s children?

“Hey, Chief… you okay?” Andy asked cautiously, and Castiel turned his attention back to the road.

“Fine,” he said firmly, leaving no room for argument.

Andy, of course, tried anyway. “You look like you’ve see a ghost or somethin’.”

“It’s nothing. Just keep your eyes on the road before you hit something… or someone.”

“Okay, okay, sheesh. Sorry for caring.”

\--

“Firetruck!” Jennica screeched, nearly blowing out Sam’s eardrum. The little girl pointed and laughed happily, and Sam raised one hand to the guy sitting behind the wheel. The horn blasted obediently, much to his niece’s delight, and her answering scream was nearly as loud.

“Tone it down, munchkin!” Sam pleaded, rubbing his ear with one hand. “Or they’ll probably hire you as the next siren!”

That was definitely the wrong thing to say, because it only made Jennica give her best siren impression. Which was admittedly pretty good, but now he had a headache. Of course she had to inherit the Winchester lungs… what luck.

“Unca Sammy, I wanna see the firetruck!” the girl whined, tugging at his shirt.

“But you wanted to swing!” he whined right back, and gave her a push as she swung back to him.

“Don’t wanna no more!” Before he could stop her, Jennica slid off of the swing at the top of the arc, nearly stumbling. “Gonna tell Daddy on you!”

Laughing, Sam ran at her and swept her up into his arms. She screeched again, laughing when he tossed her into the air over his head. “No you’re not!” he told her once she was safely tucked against his chest again. “I won’t let you!” Jennica just squirmed and squealed, nearly smacking Sam in the face in the process.

“Daddy! Daddy, save me!” the girl finally yelled, and Sam didn’t have to be looking at his brother to know he had abandoned his game of catch. Jen had her dad wrapped around her little finger, and it was impossible for Dean to not shower them with attention… Jennica and Ben, that was. And, sure enough, Dean appeared to tug his little girl out of Sam’s grasp, and Jennica started talking about how ‘Unca Sammy’ had ‘promised’ they’d go see the firetruck.

Sam didn’t remember making any such promise. Not that he was going to say that. If the kids wanted to use him in their own little nefarious plans to manipulate Dean, it just meant they owed him later… this firetruck plan was one less tea party Sam had to dress up for. Captain Comet could wear the tiara next time. Or Benny. Yeah… definitely Benny.

“Okay, okay,” Dean said, laughing. “We’ll go see the firetruck tomorrow, after I go up to the police station. That sound okay, princess?”

“An’ I wanna puppy!”

Dean looked up at Sam, eyes narrowed as though that were his idea, too, but Sam only shook his head and raised his hands. He hadn’t said a single thing about getting a pet, dog or otherwise. That was all Jen, and he wasn’t taking the blame for it.

When Dean finally turned back to his daughter, Sam wasn’t all that surprised to hear the quiet ‘I’ll think about it’.

\--

Castiel peered at the expiration date on the quart of milk in his hand, having discovered upon returning home that very afternoon that his had expired. That was the bad thing about working three on, two off; groceries tended to go bad when he was gone. He tried to avoid perishables for that very reason, but milk was definitely a must. Just because he had to drink black coffee at the firehouse didn’t mean he had to drink it at home. He sighed and tucked it into his basket along with the ingredients for supper that night - lasagna to last him until he went back to the firehouse for another long shift. If nothing else, he could just take what was left of the milk to the firehouse with him when he went back.

A thunk behind him had Castiel turning around, spotting a young girl struggling to carry a gallon of orange juice. She couldn’t have been more than a toddler, sure too young to wander around the store without supervision, and Castiel took pity on her.

“Hey there,” he said carefully, remembering that some people taught their kids not to speak to strangers. Hell, how many times had he visited a school and given that very lecture himself? Hopefully his uniform would be enough to get an answer. “Need help with that?”

The girl’s head popped up, and she stared at him silently for a moment. Those green eyes were painfully familiar, and Castiel suddenly regretted making the offer. Of course he’d run into the other Winchester child on the very same day. He’d seen Dean once, and now the universe was conspiring against him.

“Thank you!” the girl said brightly, giving him a wide smile that reminded him oh so much of her father. Castiel couldn’t help but return it, albeit a bit weakly, and take the offered gallon. The girl skipped off, pigtails bouncing, leaving him with no choice but to follow. Every step had his stomach sinking lower and lower.

“Jennica Jayden!” a voice exclaimed in relief. Castiel felt the tension ease off - he recognized that voice, and it wasn’t Dean. “What did I say about running off like that?” The girl just smiled up Sam Winchester innocently and giggling when she was swept up into the taller man’s arms. “Jesus, Jen, you scared me!”

“Orange juice!” she told him, pointing at Castiel. Sam looked up blankly, and the two men stared at each other for a minute.

“Cas?!”

Castiel raised the gallon sheepishly. “Orange juice?”

Sam didn’t glance around him, as the fireman expected him to, but he did put his niece down to pull Castiel into a tight, one-armed hug. Castiel returned it hesitantly, and pulled away after a short moment. While he was glad to see Sam (and not his brother), it was still just a little awkward. “I can’t believe it’s you, man! God, it’s been ages! Sam held him at arm’s length, looking him up and down.  “And you’re… you’re a fireman now! “

“Chief,” Castiel replied, smiling weakly. “Coming up on three years, actually. But look at you! Last I saw you, you were in eighth grade and skinny as a pole!” Oh, God, but Sam looked great. No longer was he the scrawny kid Castiel had once known - now he stood over him, and would probably fill out a uniform better than most of the guys at the station! It was strange to think of this man as the kid Castiel had helped with homework.

“Oh, so you were in that firetruck earlier? Engine 4?”

“Firetruck!” the girl, Jennica, said excitedly, jumping up and down and clapping her little hands together.

“Yeah, that was me. I take it you were the guy waving?” Castiel could remember Andy waving at a guy at the park, and honking cheerfully.

Sam laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Jen likes firetrucks,” he admitted. “She wants to visit the firehouse tomorrow… I mean, if that’s okay. I don’t want to impose.”

Castiel wanted to refuse. If Dean’s daughter was there, who was to say the man himself wouldn’t be? It was too risky. But… well, he had a soft spot for kids. Always had. “Sure, man. Come on by whenever. The guys’ll love it.”

“Fantastic! Oh, look, here, hang on…” Sam pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and scribbling something on it. “This is my number. I’m only in town for a little while, so we should get together and hang out soon.”

Castiel accepted the paper, trading it for the orange juice he still held. “What? Why are you leaving so soon?” he asked, frowning.

Sam shrugged. “I’m only really here to help bring down some of Dean’s stuff, then it’s back to California. I’m studying law, at Stanford. Actually got a pretty big interview coming up, but I couldn’t resist coming back to Lawrence, you know?”

Right. Dean. Castiel nodded, feeling nerves settle in his stomach again. “Right. Yeah. Well, good luck on that. And I’ll… I’ll definitely text you.”

“Great!” Sam clapped him on the back and put both gallon and child into the cart, rolling away with a smile and a wave that Castiel halfheartedly returned. After a moment’s hesitation, he tucked the paper away into his pocket and turned to return to his own shopping.  

 


End file.
